Monday, 18 March 2013

If Only I'd Known...What Could Go Wrong!

When preparing for the birth of my baby boy there were so many things going through my head but the one thing that I didn't even consider was what could go wrong.

My Baby Bump
In March 2012 I discovered I was pregnant for the first time and as it was my first time I was filled with all the curiosity and anxiety that any new parent faces. I wanted to know how big my little one was, if my extreme morning sickness was normal, if we were to have a boy or girl, how best to decorate the nursery, what to buy, what to wear to fit my bump, what creams to use to prevent stretch marks and what to do when the big day arrived!

All the books I read and forums I scoured for answers were amazing, they helped me when I had any niggles or concerns and put my mind at ease throughout the birth. The midwives in the hospital were fantastic when I suffered from Hyperemesis gravidarum for the first 4months and the online chat on Cow & Gate's website was a godsend when I felt over run with hormones and just needed someone to assure me it was all normal.

But,  nothing prepared me for that moment when my labour took an unexpected turn and I was told I needed to have an emergency caesarean as my baby was stuck.

No labour is the same and mine was far from what I had expected. I had 3 failed stretch and sweeps after being told my baby was on the large side and eventually was induced 2 days before his due date. After a day of mild contractions nothing prepared me for the enormous POP I felt and heard when my waters broke or the shock that took over my body and left me shaking for 5 solid minutes afterwards!

No amount of forums and books could prepare me for complications we faced when my baby wouldn't turn his head and shoulders and no amount of breathing technique's or relaxation CD's could have prepared me for the shock of being told I had to have an emergency cesarean.

As those words came out of the doctors mouth my heart sank, I took one look at my fiance and mum and knew they were thinking the same as me...this was not what we expected. 

Within 30 seconds I was being rushed into theatre leaving my birth partners behind and my mind filled with 'what ifs'. I had never even stayed in hospital before falling pregnant let alone having an operation. I felt so scared and as the tears streamed down my face all I could ask was "when will I get to see my baby?"

It felt like an eternity waiting for all the prep to take place before my fiance was allowed in the room and  I held my midwifes hand so tight as I prayed for everything to be ok. 

Eventually my fiance was allowed in and after about half an hour of waiting and crying and being sick and tugged about....out came my beautiful slightly grey baby! He was whisked into a corner and the pediatrician carried out all his checks. All I could see was his tiny legs wiggling about and when he let out a tiny little cry my heart almost burst! 

The relief I felt was so intense and when I kissed my baby boy for the very first time all the fear and uncertainty washed away and in its place was only love.

My Beautiful Baby Boy
I still ask myself 3 months on if there was anything I could have done different and although I know there was nothing I could have done to change the birthing experience I had, I still constantly think...

"If Only I'd Known....What could go wrong....but would turn out ok in the end!"

This post was written as part of a link up that is no longer active. I wanted to keep it on the blog to share with other women as I think it is important to hear honest accounts.


  1. That's brilliant Jade. Your birth was definitely not what you had planned, but baby Ted made it all worthwhile!

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    1. Mum is right...But Ted could NOT be any more PERFECT!!! Great post Jade!

  3. Ah! What a lovely story. Even though it wasn't what you'd planned or expected, a healthy baby is the most important. I had the opposite birth with my second, it was so fast that when he came out, he was absolutely fine but took AGES to make a sound. They think it was the shock of a 15min labour! It was terrifying for me as you just expect them to cry instantly (as in films etc). So glad we have our lovely healthy babies!

    Lovely blog, fellow mummy blogger at
    Would love if you could check me out!

    1. I shall have a look at your blog :) and yes as long as we hvae our angels thats all that matters! thank you for reading :) xx

  4. It's so true that we can never predict how our birth will go - but still you're encouraged to write a birth plan as if you can actually follow one!

  5. Lovely post - I know you commented on my Opting for a Caesarean post but my, sort of, birth story is here:

    I felt that fear when I heard I had to have emergency section

    Mum of a Premature Baby


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